The Vet Has Nine Lives

The Vet Has Nine Lives (1976)
by Alex Duncan
Star Books
ISBN: 0352398795
Condition: Good
As sold by Crappy Old Books

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think being a vet is all fluffy kittens and grateful Labradors, and those who have actually tried to examine a cat that does not wish to be examined. This book is for the latter — and for the former, who are about to have their illusions gently, amusingly dismantled.

The Vet Has Nine Lives is exactly what it promises: the chaotic, muddy-booted, occasionally clawed reality of veterinary life, served with the dry wit of someone who has spent more time in barns at 3am than in drawing rooms at 3pm. Alex Duncan does not romanticise the profession. He documents it. Which is infinitely better.

This is 1970s rural Britain, where cars break down on lanes, farmers are philosophical about disasters, and cows do not schedule their emergencies considerately. The humour is practical. The animals are not sentimental props. They are large, stubborn, occasionally unpredictable beings who have absolutely no idea how much paperwork is about to be involved.

And then there are the people. Owners, farmers, well-meaning amateurs, and the odd eccentric — all convinced that their case is unique, urgent, and possibly solved by a teaspoon of something suggested by a neighbour. The vet, meanwhile, arrives armed with medical training and a strong constitution.

What makes this book quietly brilliant is its balance. Yes, there is comedy — and plenty of it. But there’s also respect. Respect for the animals, for the craft, and for the strange privilege of being the person called when something living is in trouble. Duncan writes with the kind of understated affection that suggests he has both laughed and despaired in equal measure.

The title, of course, is irresistible. Nine lives — a feline reference, yes — but also a nod to the resilience required to keep turning up when you are kicked, bitten, soaked, frozen, and occasionally thanked with a bottle of something homemade and alarming.

This 1976 Star Books edition carries that particular mid-70s paperback charm: practical cover, solid type, the sense that this was bought in a railway bookstall by someone who needed cheering up between Swindon and Bristol. In Good condition, it shows just enough wear to prove it has already entertained at least one reader thoroughly.

Expect warmth. Expect mud. Expect animals behaving exactly like animals. And expect to come away with the firm belief that veterinary surgeons deserve medals, stronger boots, and possibly hazard pay.

Buy it if you love animals.
Buy it if you suspect vets have better stories than doctors.
Buy it if you enjoy memoirs where competence and chaos coexist happily.

Because behind every calm surgery door lies a small epic — and sometimes, if you’re lucky, it comes with a punchline.

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