Holiday Which - Good Walks Guide

Ah, the 1990s—an era defined by questionable fashion choices, an obsession with compact discs, and, lest we forget, a penchant for the outdoors that led to an entire generation believing that the great British pastime of walking was somehow akin to an athlete’s quest for Olympian glory. Enter “Holiday Which - Good Walks Guide,” a tome that promises to transform your mundane ambles into something resembling a competitive sport or, at the very least, a mildly amusing stroll through your local park. Authored by the illustrious Tim Locke, this work is a veritable love letter to the art of putting one foot in front of the other, ideally while wearing sensible shoes and avoiding mud puddles.

Published by the Consumers Association and Hodder & Stoughton in 1990, this guide chronicles walks that are presumably filled with breathtaking views, quirky local fauna, and enough historical trivia to make even the most ardent geography teacher shed a tear of joy. It is perhaps worth noting that the cover features an illustration that looks suspiciously like a watercolor aftermath of a local council meeting where they discussed hiking trails—vibrant yet oddly bureaucratic.

Inside, readers are treated to a collection of routes that seem to be a mix of well-trodden paths and those less likely to be frequented by anyone who values their time. Each entry reads like a love letter to soggy socks and the occasional encounter with a disgruntled pony. Will you, dear reader, find yourself inexorably drawn to the wonders of the countryside? Or will you instead take a moment to ponder the deep philosophical question: “Why didn’t I just stay home and watch the telly?”

What makes this guide truly unique is its ability to cater to all types of walkers, from the hardcore enthusiasts who treat each hike as an opportunity for personal growth, to those who think “a good walk” equates to strolling through the kitchen to grab a biscuit. It’s bound to provide invaluable insights for various walking scenarios such as:

• The “I only walk if there’s a pub at the end” walk.
• The “I’m only here for the Instagram photos” walk.
• The “let’s pretend this is exercise” walk.
• The “I just want to feed the ducks” walk.
• The “lost my group and now I’m regretting life choices” walk.

Each walk is imbued with a sense of urgency, as if Tim Locke is imploring you to lace up your walking boots and rush out the door before the sun sets on your chances of discovering the wonders of nature. However, the real charm lies not in the detailed descriptions, but in the labyrinthine routes that might require a degree in orienteering or at least a decent sense of direction, which is often a luxury when one is trying to decipher a poorly photocopied map.

Condition: This book has seen better days. It bears the hallmark of a well-loved volume, complete with creased pages, the occasional coffee stain that adds a hint of character, and a spine that has valiantly withstood the test of numerous half-hearted attempts at walking. It is a testament to all those who have picked it up, only to promptly forget where they were supposed to go. One can only hope future readers will be inspired to venture forth, if only to find a bench to sit on.

So, if you’re in the market for a second-hand guide that promises to elevate your rambling to new heights (or at least new muddy trails), look no further. “Holiday Which - Good Walks Guide” is here to accompany you on your journeys—however misguided they may turn out to be. Available now at Crappy Old Books, where we celebrate the beautifully flawed and the gloriously outdated.

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