Alpine Christmas

Alpine Christmas (1993) by Mary Daheim — Fawcett
ISBN: 0345382706
Condition: Used (festively worn, structurally sound, lightly dusted with imaginary snow)
Offered with jingling nerves by Crappy Old Books

Nothing says “holiday spirit” quite like murder in a small town. In Alpine Christmas, Mary Daheim takes you to Alpine, Washington — a place where the snow is picturesque, the gossip is faster than broadband, and absolutely nothing, ever, is allowed to remain peaceful for more than half a chapter.

Our guide to this festive chaos is Emma Lord, editor of the Alpine Advocate, who would really just like to enjoy the season, sip something warm, and perhaps not trip over any corpses until at least January. Sadly, Alpine does not work that way. Instead, Christmas arrives with:

• Small-town drama in extra-large portions,

• Seasonal decorations trying their best to distract from rising tension,

• And the sort of “holiday surprises” that make you wish you’d just stayed home with a fruitcake and a locked door.

Daheim’s Alpine world is full of locals who know everything about everyone, except, unfortunately, who the killer is. There are secrets under the tinsel, grudges wrapped in nostalgia, and an entirely reasonable chance that someone will end up dead before the last carol is sung. You know. Christmas.

This particular copy, cheerfully liberated from the more chaotic end of the Crappy Old Books shelves, is proudly Used. Which means:

• The cover may show light scuffs and edge wear, like it’s been in and out of more than one Christmas stocking or overnight bag.

• The spine probably has a cosy crease or two — marks of previous readers who promised themselves “just one more chapter” before gift-wrapping and utterly failed.

• The pages may be gently tanned, slightly softened, and fully capable of holding up under being read with cold fingers and a hot drink.

No missing pages, no plot-critical clues erased, no suspicious cocoa stains on the whodunnit bit — just honest, slightly aged paperback goodness with a faint aura of “holiday mystery marathons from the 90s.”

Perfect for:

• Fans of cosy mysteries who like their homicide neatly contained within charming communities,

• Readers who firmly believe that Christmas is improved by at least one good puzzle and a handful of suspicious neighbours,

• Anyone who finds modern festive films a bit too wholesome and would prefer something with more motives and fewer montages.

Set this Used copy of Alpine Christmas on your coffee table and pretend you’re just in it for the ambience. Then, obviously, get sucked in, start suspecting everyone, and look up occasionally to judge your own neighbours on principle.

After all, nothing says “seasonal tradition” quite like a small-town Christmas where the lights are twinkling, the snow is falling, and at least one person has something very important to hide.

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