Collecting Original Prints

Ah, "Collecting Original Prints" by Rosemary Simmons, a title that tantalizes the imagination and beckons the curious collector with all the subtlety of a cat at three in the morning. First published in 1982, this dazzling tome offers a delightful jaunt into the world of art collecting, where the genre meets a group of enthusiasts armed with magnifying glasses and a keen eye for the obscure. Picture it: the smell of dusty galleries mingling with the scent of musty paper, all while you clutch your wallet tighter than a bank manager on payday.

Within these pages, Simmons—our fearless guide—unravels the intricate tapestry of print collecting. You might wonder, what is an "original print," exactly? Is it the kind of thing you hang over your mantlepiece to impress your in-laws or merely a conversation starter for those awkward silences at dinner parties? Fear not, for Simmons is here to navigate you through the euphoric highs and emotional lows of the art world, as if collecting prints were akin to collecting stamps from obscure places like Bhutan or the Isle of Wight.

The book is peppered with nuggets of wisdom, such as the importance of provenance, which is basically fancy-talk for "Is this fake or did it really come from that old chap with the beret who claimed he knew Picasso?" Prepare yourself for tales of artists who may or may not have been lunatics, each with an original print that could be worth a fortune—or just a few quid at a garage sale. If you’ve ever entertained the charming delusion that owning a signed piece could elevate you to the status of a cultured connoisseur, this book is your enigmatic guide to navigating that whimsical dream.

And let’s not forget the practical advice! Simmons provides a masterclass in how to spot a fake. You will learn to scrutinize prints with the precision of a jeweler examining diamonds—albeit while using your cousin’s old magnifying glass, because who can afford anything else? From the best art fairs to avoid (hint: anywhere with a ‘bargain bin’) to tips on preserving your collection from the inevitable disasters of cats, sticky-fingered toddlers, and that one friend who thinks they’re an art critic because they once watched a documentary, this book is a veritable potpourri of arcane knowledge.

But be warned: the path of the print collector is fraught with potential peril. Simmons warns of the dreaded "print envy," a condition affecting many collectors who find themselves unable to appreciate their own collection after a visit to a gallery. You might find yourself staring bleakly at your modest assortment, wondering how you ever believed that faded lithograph of a duck was a good idea. Yes, the art world may be whimsical, but it can also be unforgiving, as many a collector has learned the hard way.

Condition: Used, or as we like to call it, "well-loved." Expect a few dog-eared pages, some charming marginalia that could either be notes from a previous owner or the ramblings of a madman. Rest assured, each scuff on the cover tells a story, perhaps about a misadventure at an art fair or an ill-advised encounter with a particularly aggressive gallery owner.

So, if you’re ready to plunge into the world of art collecting with a curated sense of irony, "Collecting Original Prints" eagerly awaits your eager hands. Whether you aspire to be the next great art collector or simply wish to impress your friends with esoteric knowledge, this book, brought to you by Crappy Old Books, is just the ticket—albeit a slightly worn and creased one.

Find your next artful obsession within these pages, and may your prints always be original, your frames impeccably straight, and your wallet somehow miraculously intact. Happy collecting!

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