Selections From Tennyson

Ah, the illustrious “Selections From Tennyson,” brought to you by the ever-so-reliable HM Burton, a name that might ring a bell if your bell was struck by a rogue pigeon while wandering through the dusty aisles of an antiquarian bookshop. Published in the fine year of 1981, this tome is about as fashionable as leg warmers at a garden party, yet here it is, ready to grace your bookshelf with its presence—like a slightly cranky aunt who’s overstayed her welcome.

In this collection, readers are treated to a delightful sampling of Tennyson’s musings, almost like a fancy cheese platter but without the lactose or deliciousness. Imagine yourself at a dinner party where the conversation revolves around the intricacies of Victorian poetry while you nod along, trying to remember what exactly a "lyric" is, all the while wishing you were instead discussing the merits of pizza toppings. If you fancy a literary puzzle wrapped in a riddle and tied with a bow of ambiguity, HM Burton’s selections promise just that, minus the actual thrill of a coherent narrative.

The cover, an unassuming yet oddly compelling shade of beige, whispers the secrets of dusty attics and forgotten bookshops. It’s the kind of book that, upon glancing at it, you can almost hear the faint sigh of a thousand literary enthusiasts who felt the need to own a piece of Tennyson, only to find themselves at a loss for how to discuss it. Perhaps it contains the poetic wisdom to illuminate the shadows of your mundane existence, or perhaps it’s just a nice doorstop.

Inside, readers may encounter a variety of Tennyson’s works selected with the care of a taxidermist caught in a snowstorm. HM Burton, despite their dubious choice of publication timing—right in the thick of 1980s pop culture—has managed to curate a collection that captures the essence of Tennyson without the hassle of having to grapple with his entire oeuvre. It’s like having a buffet where you can sample all the dishes but are only allowed to take a tiny spoonful of each—perfect for those who can’t commit to a full meal, or in this case, full poem.

But what, you may ask, makes this particular selection so unique? Well, let’s just say it’s a blend of Tennyson’s most celebrated moments alongside the occasional eyebrow-raising choice that leaves you questioning whether HM Burton was feeling particularly whimsical or was simply trying to meet a word count. Readers will find themselves in the thrilling position of debating whether each selection has genuine poetic merit or if it’s just the literary equivalent of a cat meme.

In the spirit of full disclosure, we must address one crucial aspect: this book has seen better days. It may appear more used than a pair of well-loved slippers that have lost their elasticity, but such wear only adds to its character. After all, a vintage book is like a vintage wine—it may have a few corked moments, but it’s still capable of giving you a mild headache if read too late in the evening.

Condition: This particular copy comes with a soft, comforting patina of age, featuring the kind of creases and dog-eared pages that hint at a life well-lived. The spine may possess a charmingly casual slouch, suggesting it has been read countless times by curious souls, each hoping to discover the meaning of life or at least the meaning of “The Charge of the Light Brigade.” The pages are a delightful shade of off-white, reminiscent of that peculiar wallpaper your grandmother thought was trendy in the 70s. Scuffs and indentations abound, a testament to the book’s tumultuous life, which might mirror the very emotional states of Tennyson’s characters.

So, if you find yourself yearning for a dose of Victorian poetry, or perhaps a conversation starter at your next gathering of literary enthusiasts (or your next attempt to impress a date), look no further than “Selections From Tennyson.” It’s all available here at Crappy Old Books, where we believe that every book has a story, even if that story is about how it desperately wants to be read but finds itself languishing on the shelf, waiting for you to rescue it from its literary loneliness.

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